As I sat at Mayhem's first t-ball game yesterday, I felt a weird sense of deja-vu. It really seems like such a short time ago that we were there on that same field with ManChild, cheering and clapping as he ran around the bases. It really is hard to believe that #1 we are the parents of a soon-to-be high school graduate, and #2, we have a whole herd of little ones we are getting the privilege of going through all these cool milestones with once again. I have to laugh at how the mom I am now is SO different than the mom I was 10 years ago on this same ballfield. Priorities, lifestyle, and beliefs, all so very different.
I am so excited for ManChild's next steps. I remember how excited I was at 18 (heck, at 16, for that matter!) to get on with my "real life". I am so looking forward to his graduation and whatever he decides to do next. He still is thinking about the military, and classes at the local community college, and just working for awhile. I have stressed to him that few people know what they want to be at 18 and fewer still end up actually doing what they thought they would be at that age. We have talked about taking the time to find out what he really loves to do (that he can make a living at!) and that there are a lot of paths to happiness. I find myself surprisingly unstressed out by the upcoming transitions because I just KNOW he is going to be fine, whatever path he chooses.
And the Littles? I am so enjoying just being around them! They are a LOT of work, much more than I think I ever imagined, but they are just a joy to see growing and interacting and playing and fighting and learning. I am so thankful for our decision to homeschool them, because it just gives us such a great opportunity to really teach them what we think is important, and to spend time really raising them to be the amazing people God means for them to be. I cannot imagine sending Chaos and Mayhem off to school for 7-8 hours and am so very grateful we don't have to.
It amazes me how different my views on education and child rearing and parenting have become and I just shake my head in amazement at how different person I am from 10 - 15 years ago. Just a confirmation that I AM a work in progress, and have SO much more to grow and learn and discover and do. And on those days when I feel like nothing I do is important, really, in the grand scheme of things, that any woman can do this mothering thing, it reassures me that there is a bigger picture and I do have purpose and meaning and I can make a difference. All good things to remember, at 18 or 42, I think!
